the season of giving thanks – and supporting our local community

As we enter the holiday season with Thanksgiving next week, we’ll be thinking a lot about our loved ones, expressing our gratitude and love in the giving and receiving of gifts, and celebrating together.

So many people in our community are unable to practice these rituals because they don’t have everything to meet even their basic needs. A very meaningful way to give thanks is to practice generosity by supporting others. Generosity grows gratitude, and gratitude grows generosity!

purge and provide

ndwc_wardrobe consult_donation pile

“Clearing the closet was remarkably freeing. I can open the door and look in there now and feel good. As we tried on and discarded items, Nancy was able to tell me how and why something no longer worked for me, and I could then see it too.” ~Sue, A Year of Style client

There are a variety of reasons why some may not have what they need – suffering homelessness, losing a job, escaping domestic violence, and arriving to the United States as a refugee or recent immigrant are just a few. One way we can support people facing these issues is to donate the clothing we are no longer wearing to organizations who can get that clothing into the hands of those who need it.

Sue, a client who recently completed A Year of Style with me, did a significant purging of her closet (see photo). As she said, it was extremely liberating for her to let go of the clothing that was going unworn and bogging her down. Not only did she take care of herself by addressing her wardrobe, she also helped many others by donating that clothing.

‘pay it forward’

In almost every community, there are small, local organizations that offer services and goods to specific groups of people in need. I published this list last year around this time, and I’m putting it out there again because they still need our help.

The following organizations meet the immediate clothing needs of their clients – interview and work wear for women and men developing job skills to enter the work force, a free-of-charge clothing shop for people who are homeless, winter outerwear for refugees who have been forced from their own countries. These organizations are vital to the well-being of so many of our fellow citizens right here in the Twin Cities.

Look online for local organizations in your community and consider a clothing or monetary donation to one of them. These are the groups making immediate, positive change for so many people. Your unworn clothing (and donation dollars) will be put to good use.

Generosity grows gratitude…gratitude grows generosity.

Dress for Success (national; local affiliate-St. Paul)

Professional clothing for women entering or re-entering the workforce.

International Institute of Minnesota (St. Paul)

Offers many services to new Americans, including winter outerwear for people who have recently arrived in Minnesota.

Joseph’s Coat (St. Paul)

Provides clothing and essential goods to individuals and families facing a variety of challenges, including homelessness.

Ready for Success (Minneapolis)

A program of Project for Pride in Living, Ready for Success offers business wear to low-income women and men entering the job force.

STEP-St. Louis Park Emergency Program (St. Louis Park)

Provides assistance and food and clothing to St. Louis Park residents in need.

Tubman – Harriet’s Closet (Minneapolis and Maplewood)

Harriet’s Closet offers clothing to women who are struggling with relationship violence, substance abuse, and mental health issues.

 

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signature style…or stuck in a rut?

#outthedoor

A couple of months ago I started a weekly series on my Facebook page called Out the Door – check it out. (And like my page while you’re there, if you haven’t already!) A sampling follows.ndwc_#outthedoor_boyfriend jeans gingham shirt fitted jacketIt’s a fun way to show folks what I’m wearing for outfit inspiration, how I put into practice what I talk about with my clients, and that you really can find fun things new-to-you at consignment stores (almost everything I wear is new-to-me).

ndwc_#outthedoor_boyfriend jeans long cardigan stripes and polka dots

Unexpectedly, it has also become a good exercise for me, because I have visual documentation of my patterns of dressing. Taking pictures of what I put on – or choosing not to – tells me a lot about my personal style, what outfits help me feel great, and ones that don’t really do that for me. It’s a great practice, and one I’m going to incorporate into my A Year of Style service to help clients hone their personal style and dress intentionally.

signature style

Something that has become really clear in Out the Door – I already knew this, but hadn’t thought about it in a broader way – is that wearing polished jeans outfits is my signature style. I wear jeans A LOT. I’m lucky that way – when you do wardrobe consulting, you can wear what you want.

ndwc_#outthedoor_statement jacket raw hemmed jeans

And what I want to wear is jeans. When I do wardrobe consults and personal shopping sessions, I’m moving constantly, managing clothing for my clients, sometimes down on the floor looking at hem length or shoe fit, and generally active for the entire session. So it’s important that I’m comfortable and can move quickly and with ease. No high heels, no super-narrow skirts, no fussy pieces that will get in the way.

ndwc_#outthedoor_white denim long duster black tee I do mix it up with collared shirts, tees, jackets, and sweaters. And I change out scarves, belts, jewelry, and shoes. That said, wearing the same outfit formula most days can feel at times more like being stuck in a rut than a signature style. Case in point – through taking photos for Out the Door, I realized just how much mileage my black tee got during the transition weather this fall!

I don’t intend to leave jeans outfits behind by any means – they indeed are my signature style. But let’s mix it up a little, shall we?

no more rut

This is what dressing intentionally is all about. Not being consumed by what you are wearing, but actually putting thought into it, so that your clothing reflects who you are and works for you rather than against you.

Huh? Yes, what you are wearing affects how you feel. Dressing with intention helps you to feel better, more confident, and ready to share your awesome self with the world.

So I went rummaging in my closet to intentionally create some non-jeans outfit ideas for the Fall. Here’s what I came up with:

ndwc_suede skirt turtleneck flatlay

I love this faux-suede skirt – it’s super comfortable, has an A-line cut so I can move easily, and will be fun with a fine-gauge fitted turtleneck and other sweaters. I mixed browns and charcoal gray here for a contemporary look.

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Plaid is super on trend this Fall. And it’s a timeless classic, so you can’t go wrong. I paired these dress pants with a black cashmere sweater and oxblood leather jacket for a little edge. The caramel boots are comfortable, even with the higher heel. I am toying with getting the pants hemmed to go with lower heels so that I wear them more often – I like the idea of wearing them with loafers and low-heeled boots…

ndwc_plaid skirt denim shirt flatlay

Americana (think western-influenced clothing) is on trend this Fall as well, so I paired a denim shirt and cowboy boots with a plaid skirt for a little mash-up. It’s good to have a little fun, and my cowboy boots make me feel bad-ass!

ndwc_neutrals_culottes long sweater flatlay

Mixing neutrals is contemporary and elegant. Here I paired an oatmeal long belted sweater vest and culottes with the charcoal merino turtleneck and the brown booties. I added a geometric patterned silk scarf for polish.

ndwc_navy and black_dress denim jacket scarf flatlay

I love wearing navy and black together – like this knee-length knit black dress and navy bold-print scarf with a denim jacket. I hardly wore my tall black boots last fall and winter; instead I found myself choosing booties. I’m looking forward to bringing these classic boots back into rotation this year.

What you are wearing affects how you feel. Dressing with intention helps you to feel better, more confident, and ready to share your awesome self with the world.

what’s your fancy?

How will you stay out of a rut this season? What outfit ideas resonate with you most? Share your thoughts and other outfit ideas (pics too!) in the comments. We can inspire each other!

 

8 trends for fall 2017

Many fall trends this year are classic styles, which not only are fabulous, but also will last longer than this season alone. Trends that have longevity are worth investing in, and because they are classic, you can easily find high quality pieces #secondhandfirst. Have some fun with these!

pantone’s palette for fall 2017

Wearing the colors of the season can help you feel contemporary. Mix these gorgeous colors in unexpected ways – Grenadine and Ballet Slipper or Butterum and Neutral Gray – for a more fashion-forward look.

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red all over

Red is THE hot color for the season. Red shoes and boots, red handbags, red coats and jackets, head-to-toe red. Add anything red to your outfit, and you can’t go wrong!

Photos

classic plaids

Plaid pants, jackets, coats, shirts, skirts, and more. Tartan is the rage.

Photos: 1 and 2, 3

sumptuous velvet

Ankle boots, in particular. Statement coats, slim-leg pants, dresses, and collared shirts partial-tucked into jeans.

Photos

‘Americana’ throwbacks

Think western influenced styles – denim on denim, embroidery, patchwork, suede, cowboy boots, and shearling.

Photos

edgy black leather

Leather jackets, pants and skirts, and especially paired together – Matrix style.

Photos

winter florals

Floral prints continue from the Spring/Summer trends but in deep, rich jewel tones. Dark backgrounds with more negative space in the print on dresses, fluid blouses, and coats.

Photos

2 more holdovers

Black and white polka dots and classic trench coats carry over from Spring. Pair a black and white polka dot dress with a red trench for a stunning look.

Photos

 

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the unmentionables – DEFinitely worth a mention!

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When’s the last time you tried a different kind of underwear? Say what? Give me my cotton briefs and call it good, right? Nope.

the right underwear for your outfit is your best friend

Choosing the right underwear can transform what a garment looks like on your body. It can be the difference between something fitting – fabulously – and not.

And I’m not talking about shapewear, ladies. I’ll address that later.

As I tell my clients about clothing, “It’s not about the size number on the tag, it’s about proper fit.” The number doesn’t matter – they are arbitrary and not standardized in the industry. This goes for panties too!

the bottom line, or rather, NOT

Sorry, couldn’t resist the pun! Panty lines wreck what could be a gorgeous fit. Here’s some really good news – much of the time, it’s the cut of the panties that cause the lines! Wearing the right cut panty for the garment they are paired with makes all the difference in the world.

For any kind of panty, fit is important too. If the waistband or leg seams cut into your body, this can cause panty lines or bulges. If the elastic is particularly elastic it can contribute to the dreaded panty line as well. And if they are too small OR too large, panties can ride up, which is not only uncomfortable, but also can cause lines or bunches.

Panties should lie smoothly across your body. You don’t want them to cut into your body or to be gaping too much. Like jeans, finding the correct rise for your body can transform the fit of panties.

boy shorts

No-Show Boyshort Panty

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I love boy shorts with pants, jeans, and even some leggings. The lower-cut leg opening typically has no elastic and lies across the upper thigh rather than diagonally across the cheek like briefs, eliminating panty lines. They fit differently than briefs and can take a little getting used to, but it’s worth it!

hi-rise

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Hi-rise panties are just that – the top of the panty is very high on the hips just below the waist and the leg holes are high-cut as well. I often wear them with dresses and skirts, especially very fitted or thin-fabric ones, to give smooth coverage across the hips, stomach, and backside. Which leads me to seamless underwear.

seamless

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For dresses in particular or for more fitted pants, I wear seamless underwear, which is typically made of a micro-fiber fabric (I choose ones with a cotton crotch panel). Hi-rise, or very low rise both work well for me – if they are more mid-rise, they hit my hips in the wrong place and make bulges – not what I’m going for!

Take the time, and possibly some trial and error, to find the proper fit and rise for you to ensure they lie smoothly across your body. If they cut into your body, even seamless will show. A good fitting seamless panty with the correct rise for you won’t show under even a body-con (figure hugging) dress or clingy fabric.

Take the time, and possibly some trial and error, to find the proper fit and rise for you to ensure they lie smoothly across your body.

go commando with hosiery

If I wear hosiery with a dress or skirt, I go commando. Hosiery has a cotton panel built in – they are made to be worn alone, and frankly, they are much more comfortable without panties underneath! This also provides a really smooth foundation for under dresses. I pull the waistband of the hosiery up high to just beneath the bust for a smooth waistline.

color

The Short CAFE AU LAIT

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If wearing white or a light color, choose nude-to-you undies instead of white. White shows through white pants and jeans just as badly as a bright color does. Light gray and lavender also work with my skin tone under light and white fabrics, but this will vary according to your skin tone.

thongs

Some people swear by thongs. I hate them. They are so uncomfortable to me that I can’t focus on anything else when I try to wear one. And if you are really trying to eliminate panty lines, thongs are not always the way to do it. They will show through some fabrics just a much as a brief would. Seamless is your best bet. If you like thongs, more power – albeit less fabric – to you!

shapewear

I am also not a fan of shapewear. It has its place for a formal gown, special event, or a particularly fitted garment, but it should not be used for daily wear. Firstly, it’s not good for your circulation to wear shapewear regularly – for real. And secondly, it’s not good to be uncomfortable in your clothing on a regular basis. That does not contribute to your overall wellbeing. Take it from Tina Fey.

Proper fit for clothing is finding the right cuts and fit (remember, the size numbers mean nothing!) for your body without having to wear shapewear to make it happen. The right underwear can do wonders in assisting that proper fit.

 

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ayos: a year of style, a year of success, a year of spectacular

 

ndwc_Roberta's A Year of Style video

meet roberta

I’m so excited to share this with you! Roberta just wrapped up her A Year of Style, my signature service package. She’s a rock star. She decided it was time to show her true, authentic self to the world. Hear her story in Roberta’s A Year of Style.

She had fun. (Me too.) She had success. She had transformation.

Through A Year of Style, Roberta and I formed a year-long partnership where she developed her personal style and rebuilt her wardrobe to reflect it. It was an amazing year.

it can be yours

Head over here to learn all the details about A Year of Style and to sign up today for YOUR year of spectacular!

let’s get started!

 

 

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add polish to your summer outfit and stay cool too

I find that wearing a lot of accessories in the summer makes me too hot. A big scarf or heavy necklace around the neck, bulky bracelets, or statement belts become increasingly more uncomfortable as the day goes by. In summer, I’m drawn to fine-weight jewelry, skinny belts, and if it’s really hot, no accessories at all.

What to do, when you know accessories add that extra polish that pulls an outfit together and helps you feel your best?

wear a silk scarf in your hair

A small silk square tied as a headband or added to a bun or ponytail has oodles of style!

or elsewhere!

Wearing a scarf in an unexpected way adds intentionality and style to your outfit. Tie a small silk square around your wrist to make a fabulous – and lightweight – bracelet. Use a long skinny scarf as a belt with cropped jeans or to add polish to a maxi-dress or skirt.

Or go classic and wear a small bandana tied as a neckerchief with a casual tee. Be sure to avoid too big a scarf or the volume of fabric will make you hot – a smaller one adds a pop of color, but beats the heat.

make the print the accessory

A bold print summer dress is the perfect antidote to the heat. The pattern is the highlight, so no need for accessories (unless you really want them), and dresses are breezy cool!

wear fun shoes

I firmly believe that shoes make or break an outfit. Adding a fun shoe to a very basic outfit can transform it from “meh” to “fab!” Choose an interesting sandal, espadrille, flat, or sneaker to pull together your outfit. A bright color, bold print, wedge or block heel, delicate straps or laces, or metallic finish can make all the difference.

Step out in cool style and enjoy the dog days of August!

Images (except for my own) via Pinterest

 

1 white linen top 3 ways for summer fun

A basic white linen top can be the foundation for great summer outfits, bumping up the polish from a knit tee and keeping you cool at the same time.

Everything I’m wearing – with the exception of the tassel necklace (a travel purchase), the belt (made in the USA), and the polka dot scarf (a gift) – was purchased new-to-me, including the shoes. Right now is a great time to shop consignment – the summer sales are on! #secondhandfirst

with cropped jeans

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Cropped jeans (with a contemporary raw hem – mine are DIY!) and comfy neutral wedge sandals make a simple, polished outfit for knocking around or casual going out. A long skinny silk scarf as a belt adds a pop of fun.

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white on white

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White on white is bright and fresh for summer, and the gold metallic strappy flat sandals (Stuart Weitzman, unworn, and a steal at consignment prices) complement the monochromatic look. Tie a small silk square scarf into a bracelet for a fashion-forward splash of color and head to your favorite patio for cocktails and dining al fresco.

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with bright shorts

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Feel put together for daytime fun with bright shorts and sandals good for walking. I love the embroidered anchor print on these shorts – I’m a sucker for preppy, throwback styles!  Partial-tuck the top (notice I did this in all three looks for body definition) and add a belt for further polish. Casual, but intentional.

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Stay cool!

 

#secondhandfirst

The new normal for weather patterns everywhere is volatility. Here we swing from 90s to 50s and back and have dramatic thunderstorms and droughts thrown in. My previous career included work dedicated to improving water quality: 1-inch rainfall events used to be the standard used for managing stormwater – now the standard is 4-inch rainfall events.

This is climate change in action.

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What does this have to do with the clothing we wear? A lot. The growth and manufacture of the textile fibers used, how garments are created, the transport of them around the globe, and their disposal all have environmental impact and contribute to climate change in varying degrees. And the fashion industry only continues to expand, with American spending on clothing and footwear up 14% in 2016, according to a recent article in the New York Times that grapples with this issue.

It’s grim to think about the long-term impact our consumer actions have. But there is a way to lessen our impact, and boy is it sweet.

#secondhandfirst

This hashtag has been cropping up here and there with more frequency on social media, and I. LOVE. IT. It’s been around for bit – check out #secondhandfirst on Instagram and on Twitter – and lately thredUP has been using it specifically in their marketing.

I love it, because it is the perfect way to remember how to practice sustainable consumerism – my ndwc mission. Buy second-hand (what I like to call new-to-you) clothing first. You can also call it resale. Whatever phrase works for you, just do it!

There are so many fabulous clothing resale options in the Twin Cities as well as online. It makes so much sense to shop new-to-you – both environmentally and economically. And now is the perfect time to check it out; summer sales at consignment shops begin in July – items that are typically priced 1/3 of retail cost are 50-75% off those prices.

“The environmental problems from textiles will continue to compound if we can’t get rid of that mind-set that clothing is disposable.”  ~ Frances Kozen

Clothing is not disposable. #Secondhandfirst means keeping high quality clothing that will last in the use stream – reducing demand for the manufacture of new clothing and lessening solid-waste issues around the world. It means each of us taking a simple action to reduce our impact on the environment. (Added bonus: it reduces impact on our pocketbooks too!)

If enough of us practice sustainable consumerism, together we can make positive change. Let’s do it!

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what to pack: a week of upper-90s in Washington, DC

Last week my family traveled to Washington, DC, because my daughter Grace was competing in National History Day (NHD). She won First Place in the Junior Research Paper category at the Minnesota State Competition in April, which earned her a spot in the national competition – super exciting, and we were over the moon!

The weather forecast was for upper-90s all week, and – for once – it was completely accurate. What to pack when it’s going to be blistering hot for a week, and you know you will be touring outside for much of the time?

beat the heat

I almost always travel with only a carry-on roller bag, and this time was no exception. Since I knew that I needed to focus on staying cool, I packed several summer dresses, a pair of shorts, one skirt, one sleeveless blouse, one t-shirt, 3 pairs of sandals, and two pairs of sneakers. (I know – a lot of shoes, but these are what give you choices for dressing up or down and comfort for a lot of walking.) I also added a lightweight scarf to throw on in case I got cold in air-conditioned museums, which came in very handy.

On the travel days, I wore cropped jeans, because I always freeze on the plane. I used my scarf on the way there – I would have been shivering in the sleeveless blouse without it.

To see photo captions, hover over the bottom of the photo or click on it to enlarge.

 

keepin’ it real

I often hear from my clients that they chose me and enjoy working with me because I am a “real” person, not super trendy or focused on being a fashionista. And that makes me really happy, because what I do is to help people feel authentic in expressing their personal style and feel great while they’re at it.

As you can see from the photos, I’m definitely keeping it real. When it’s over 90 degrees by 10 AM, the level of dishevelment progresses quickly! I have an appreciation for all those fashion/travel bloggers who curate their photos to perfection – we would have had to spend the entire week working on just that, but that’s not why we were there. So, here’s to living real life!

So, it was hot. SO. HOT. You can see the flush on our faces and, yes, the heat was radiating off the pavement in full force! Dresses were the way to go – cool and breezy.

awkward turtle

I’m a reluctant photographic subject. I LOVE being the photographer, but put me in front of the camera, and I go stiff as a board. Grace was my trusty “outfit of the day” photographer on this trip, and for some reason all the photos for this day’s shoot were looking really, really awkward (it was me, not the photographer). Grace’s teacher had just taught us the awkward turtle the day before, so I did it to try to relax – it was the only photo that worked! Again, keepin’ it real, people.

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Awkward Turtle and the US Capitol

ndwc_g and mr history

Grace, much less awkward, conferring with Minnesota’s Mr. History before her interview with the NHD judges. Her paper is “Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring: Standing Up for Women, Science, and the Environment.”

 

nevertheless, she persisted

Grace and I got these shirts before our trip, and we thought the Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial was an appropriate place for the message. This memorial was really powerful – the artist captured the significance of Dr. King’s place in history in a moving way.

A really big bonus – we saw Senator Elizabeth Warren in one of the Senate Buildings the following day! Both Grace’s teacher and I were starstruck and speechless!

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Love my girl.

 

 

 

ndwc_capitol dome

US Capitol from a tunnel used by our representatives.

national history day

Grace won second place in her category for the national competition!! It was so exciting to see our daughter recognized in such a way for her hard work, determination, and you better believe it, persistence!

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National History Day Parade of States – the large gaggle of students wearing maroon is Minnesota!

 

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And she was tired.

 

 

2 steps forward, 1 step back – the positive body image dance

the relative joy of entrepreneurship.png

Friend and fellow entrepreneur Christina Boyd-Smith passed on this graphic illustrating the progress of entrepreneurship. It has a few swear words in it. Words I have NEVER uttered. I swear.

Positive body image is just like entrepreneurship – two steps forward, and one step back. Sometimes it’s three steps back. Sometimes you trip. Sometimes you fall spectacularly. But you pick yourself up and keep going.

I have been struggling with maintaining positive body image lately, and I figured it’s time I write about it. News flash – I don’t have it all figured out! Not by a long shot. But I’m still trying. 

When I started thinking about this post, this graphic popped right into my mind. The “WTF happened?” part in particular. Things with body image can be all “champagne!” and then BOOM, they’re not. It might even be the champagne that contributes to that. (Or maybe it’s the chocolate. Or both.) It can start by catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, or seeing a photo of yourself.

I could write a long list of things I don’t like about my body. At the top of that list right now would be that I’ve gained enough weight that a lot of my pants are feeling really snug. I’m also in the midst of finally letting my hair go grey. Sigh.

But why does there need to be a list? Or if there is a list, why isn’t it all the amazing things about my body? And why aren’t gaining some weight and grey hair amazing? Thinking about all of this makes me want to eat more chocolate. Which then makes me feel like a failure. And so it continues…

Does this spiral of negative thinking sound familiar to you? Yours might have a different spin to it, but the black hole of negative body image is powerful for so many of us. Throw in a peri-menopausal mood swing or twelve and it’s a supernova.

breaking the spiral

I can get to a pretty dark, negative place in my feelings about myself – I spent a lot of years hating and hiding my body, and I got really good at it. Learning to like my body has been a slow process, and it is a path I have to take consciously. It isn’t second nature or effortless, and it very likely never will be.

How do I break the spiral?

When the negative body image thoughts get going, the first step is to say, “Stop.” Say it in your head or out loud if you need to, but definitely say it. Disrupting the pattern of thinking is key.

It’s really important not to be hard on yourself for the negative thoughts – acknowledge that you are feeling them. What helps to change them is to move through them to a different place. Saying “Stop” is a way to acknowledge them and begin a new trajectory.

Then ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend if she were saying these things about herself and her body?” Then SAY THOSE THINGS. To yourself. Out loud if you need to! Say them again. And if you find yourself arguing with the kind – and true – things, say “Stop,” and try again.

As for the too-tight pants. This could be a trigger of negative body image every. single. morning. Here’s the thing – they are just pants. And the number on the scale is just a number. To be honest, I haven’t weighed myself – I don’t need to – I know the number is higher because of the too-tight pants! No need to feed the shame cycle with seeing the higher number on the scale. Here’s what I do instead:

I put on bigger pants.

Ones that fit my body right now, today, this week, or however long I’m at this current weight. Another news flash – weight can fluctuate or change as much as your mood during peri-menopause. Wearing too-tight pants just makes you feel bad. So don’t do it! Heck, maybe I’ll wear a skirt or dress today!

And then I tell myself: Which pants I’m wearing, the number on the scale, the number of grey hairs on my head – these things do not determine my self-worth. How I treat myself, how I let others treat me, how I treat others; these are the stuff of self-worth. How I show up in my life is what makes me ME. Not the too-tight pants.

How I treat myself, how I let others treat me, how I treat others; these are the stuff of self-worth. How I show up in my life is what makes me ME. Not the too-tight pants.

two steps forward

My two steps forward for positive body image are taking care of myself and dressing in an intentional way. Making an effort to keep my body healthy and strong with good food, exercise, mindfulness, sleep (another peri-menopause rollercoaster), and permission to indulge sometimes keeps me in touch with my physical well-being.

Embracing my body as it is right now and dressing intentionally to feel my best keeps me in touch with my psychological well-being. Feeling good about what you are wearing helps you to feel good about your whole self. Dressing intentionally is a way to say “Stop” to the cycle of negativity in a tangible, visible way that also helps you bring your best self to the world. It’s called “enclothed cognition” – your clothing affects your confidence levels and overall psychological state.

I will always have the one step back in the positive body image dance, but I’m still moving forward. With each setback, I use the practices I’ve learned to treat myself with the compassion and kindness that I deserve. I want that for you too. Every person – particularly us women – deserves that.